


Chute

by kittencauldrone



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Other, Self-Insert, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-07 00:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5435825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittencauldrone/pseuds/kittencauldrone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>for my own self indulgence cuz I'ma deadpool ho.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> for my own self indulgence cuz I'ma deadpool ho.

Standing on a roof of a skyscraper, I inch towards the edge with a grin. I mentally check myself again.  
Parachute?  
check.  
Ready for this?  
Check check check plus.  
Before I have time to talk myself out of this I step off the edge and pull the ground towards me real fast. I feel the rush I've felt a thousand times over, but it never gets old as I see the ground racing towards me quickly and people stop to stare, thinking I had jumped. Then I reach for the cord and pull it, waiting in excitement to feel the jerk of slowing down and flying towards the ground. The flap opens but no chute comes out.  
Slightly panicked, but more excited, I reach for the back up. It fails too."SHIT SHIT SHIT!" I cry out,"FUCKIN HELP ME!!" Only to be body slammed by a masked hero."fuck..." I groan in pain.  
"if you think that hurt, wait until we crash into that window." He said almost like he had planned it for weeks. I feel the vigilante curl around me and we started spining, hurling into the glass of an old building and slamming into a mattress propped up against the wall as if it was placed there for this reason and landing on two other mattresses laying on the floor.  
Once released, I examine myself, only minimal scraps and bruises. The human ball that protected me got it much worse. I see this one I look at him and see shards of glass protruding from his flesh."oh shit... you alright man?" I ask, kneeling down to help him pull the glass out.  
He looks at me with a questionable expression behind the mask, but doesn't shy away."Spiderman fan?" he noticed the logo on my shirt.  
"uh.. I like you better, Deadpool." I tell him, watching him light up at the fact that I recognized him."spiderman is cool, but nothing beats the Merc with the mouth."  
"damn, and here I thought only SHIELD cared enough to remember my name." He commented.  
I let out a laugh,"dude, I got your face tattooed on me, I think you're the coolest guy around."  
"Can I see?" he asked, but made it more of his mission to see where I had put his face on my body.  
I playfully slapped his hand away,"that's for later, Merc-y."  
"oh, so its somewhere private." I could see the grin spread across his face,"please be your ass cuz it looks amazing in those jeans."  
"you'll find out sooner or later. I'm not a cheap spider-ho." I said firmly, before laughing,"just kidding dude. I'd jump into bed with you in a heartbeat."  
He looked perplexed to say the least, a if he didn't believe I would be so quick to fuck him because of his skin condition.  
"Anyway, this your place?" he simply nodded."nice. rent must be non-existent."  
"pretty much." Wade nodded again, watching me closely as I got up. I knew he didn't live in the best conditions but it was nice for the price, I bet. I turn back towards him and got the last shard out of his wounds.  
"I should get going. someone's gotta take my dog out." I tell him.  
"see ya then."  
"I'll leave the light on for ya." I said, half-joking.  
He chuckled,"oh, motel 6 hospitality. I love it."  
I shook my head with a grin and left. Although I said it as a joke before, as I walked home, I felt it was more of a promise. This might get me in some serious trouble with the apartment management, but oh well. Once home I let Roxy, my pit bull, out onto the balcony where I had a small patch of grass for her to laze in and do her business. While watching her roll in the grass garden I wrote a note that stated," DEADPOOL IS WELCOME IN THIS APARTMENT", and in smaller font said that the sliding glass door would be left unlocked for him. I stuck it on the inside of the door and went back inside once Roxy was done. I smiled, as she brought one of her toys to me and I threw it down the hall for her.  
I began mulling over what had happened so quickly. I had met /The Deadpool./ Like how often do you get to meet the Merc with a mouth, huh? I've seen Captain America twice, Iron Man, a.k.a the not so secret Tony Stark, dozens of times, and Spiderman more times than I can remember and once falsely saved by him while base jumping off the Hudson bridge with a group of buddies. Deadpool is a harder find. And hoo boy, I got 'em, hook, line, and sinker. I could feel my heart flutter a bit as I thought of the not so graceful way he snatched me out of the air. Which was alright with me, I'm not very graceful myself.  
I hummed and put on one of my favorite pandora radio stations and then proceeded to strip my clothing off of myself as I walked to the bathroom. I sung along to the tune playing as I entered the bathroom and turned on the water. After today's thrills I could use a shower. Stepping inside and getting all warm from the water and such I ran my fingers through my dark hair, and suddenly heard Roxy barking. I peek out from behind the curtain,"Roxy! Roxy hush!" I commanded and she quieted down.  
I go back to getting clean when I hear her claws clicking on the hardwood floor of the hallway. I'm now listening intently, I hear her panting and pouncing so I can only assume she's playing with her toy. I smile and shake my head at myself. So sill of me to think someone had entered my home, I hardly ever have anyone over and the only people besides myself that have a key to my place is my mother and the apartment managers. I go back to humming along with whatever is playing as I wash up. I faintly hear Roxy 'boofing' and still play with her toy, which made me happy. I love watching her play, and listening put me at ease. My mind wanders back to Wade Wilson. Should I have just invited him over? I should've at least offered him a chimmichanga on me. Oh well, I probably wouldn't run into him again for a while.  
Would've been nice though. Maybe not for my apartment manager, but for me, it would've been pretty cool. I think it was for the best though, people who get tangled up with Deadpool too often, sometimes meet their end badly. I could ride the high of meeting him once for my whole life at least. That's always a plus.  
"ah, so it's on your hip." came the merc's voice. I jumped and slipped and fell flat on my ass, holding my chest as my heart beat against my rib cage. "whoops, scared ya didn't I?" he went silent for a second before muttering something to himself.  
"you're damn right you did!" I said, get up, even if I only stood at 5'2, I was going to hold my own against him."I could've hit my head!" I went off, but it didn't take long for me to realize who I was yelling at and what my current state of dress. My face went red, while his mask pulled around his mouth in a smile.  
He chuckled,"oh wow, speechless. that's a new one."  
"You don't even know my name and you've already seen me naked! son of a bitch." I said embarrassedly.  
He tilted his head,"isn't that how drunk people do it at the clubs though?"  
Even like this he could still crack a quip. I sighed,"but I'm not drunk. I mean, you might be, but I'm not. And we're not in a club. We're in my bathroom."  
"true, but I'm making you blush." Wade pointed out, and it only made me turn a new shade of red.  
I shut off the water and pull a towel around my waist, while staring at him. I can feel his eyes on my chest, probably looking at the two scars under my pecs. I didn't take it personally, lots of people seem surprised to see my surgery scars. I turned to go get clothes from my bedroom, all the while, I hear his boots against the wood following me. I chuckle to myself, perhaps he likes what he sees. I pull on some decorative boxers and sleep pants with a tank top."alright. you got to see where your face is on my body. now what?"  
He opened his mouth and inhaled as he did, I cut him off before he could say a word,"and please don't say we have sex."  
It took him a minute to think of something else, clearly that was what his mind was on,"well, how about take out?"  
"I can order something for us I guess." I shrugged." Whatcha want?"  
I didn't even have to ask, I already knew what he was going to say, but at least I could humor the option of choices. Once food was ordered, I settled down in the livingroom with a sigh, Deadpool was now in my house, every now and then muttering to himself about various things. I didn't mind, he almost looked like he was having a conversation with Roxy, as he was playing with her on the floor. I laughed quietly to myself, watching him. I was enjoying this to the fullest, to have Deadpool in my apartment and to be watching him play with my dog was kinda like leaving me awe-struck.  
Food came, we ate, I did my best to keep my name from him but eventually it came out after him bugging me for an hour."fine! My name is Kris!"  
"huh, pretty ordinary name." He commented.  
"its short for Kris-Lee, now please stop bugging me about my name." I begged, laying on the floor dramatically. I guess he got the message and stopped asking me questions. Except for one I wasn't expecting to hear."so... You're trans?"  
I stopped breathing for a second, I hadn't been asked that since I was on testosterone for a year. I sat up and looked at him,"y-yeah. I am. I'm transgender but its been a while since I've been asked that."  
"oh."  
"yeah..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i fuks wit me some deadpool booty y'all.  
> more self-indulgent stuff for my selfish butt ;p

A few weeks had past since my initial run in with the merc with the mouth, and things had all but returned to normal for me and Roxy. Actually, he comes and goes from my apartment as he pleases, makes a mess, eats all my food, and passes out in the most random spots. I came home from a night out, one day, to find him passed out in my hallway. I was too drunk to do anything but grab a blanket and sleep next to him. Not the best choice, but I can't say it wouldn't be the first time I'd decided to sleep in the hallway while drunk.  
It's been little over two months, to be truthful, since I made the decision to open my home to Wade. It felt a little hectic at times, and nearly doubled my normal living expenses, but kinda nice at the same time. He does have quite the mouth on him, but I can leave him speechless with the way I talk sometimes. Either extreme southern kindliness or saying 'fuck' for every other word has left him stunned once or twice. I think some of the southern phrases I use work more, even I admit their a little extreme. But he always gets a kick when I say "cheese and crackers Batman", and comments that I must've been a Robin in a past life.  
I doubt it, but I like it when he laughs. And he knows how to be quiet. At least whenever I'm heating up or cooking something, he'll sneak up behind me and stay there until I turn around with the food in my hands. He once did that while I was trying to make homemade tacos, he was more than upset that the tacos ended up all over the kitchen walls instead of his mouth. He played himself on that one. While, life has been anything but normal, I noticed roxy has taken quite a shine to Deadpool.  
She always runs to the sliding glass door when she hears him coming up. I think its cute how she waits so eagerly for him to be in before jumping up on him and giving him kisses. He knows she's well trained and tells her when enough is enough. Speaking of which, Roxy was sitting at the door now, wagging her tail, waiting. I could hear his boots land on the balcony, then the door slide open. Roxy gets excited and runs from me, where I was sitting at my computer, and back to him to let me know who was hear.  
I get up and go to greet him," you're a little early today. what's the rush? you look out of breath."  
"got here as soon as I could." he says, letting a soft sigh escape."was avoiding Fury."  
"Ah. of course." I chuckled, folding my arms over my chest,"what'd you blow up this time?"  
"Avengers' Tower."  
I covered my mouth to stifle a laugh. Only Wade would do something like that. I don't mind hiding him I suppose, I know the most Fury would do is lecture him I'm sure. I watched him sit down and take off his boots, he never wore socks. Once his feet were bare he rubbed them on the carpet, which I don't blame him, it's soft ass carpet. The only reason I still walk around my house barefoot is to feel the soft carpet between my toes. He noticed me staring at his feet and the way he shuffled them when he took his shoes off,"what? are my feet that big?" he asked with a laugh.  
"Nah, I was just lost in thought for a second." I told him, sitting down next to him,"but I know you like how soft my carpet is."  
"I wouldn't know, I've never seen your carpet."  
"gET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER!!"  
I can tell he's smirking behind his mask and I could feel my face heat up and turn red. He knew how to push buttons on me that would otherwise get him slapped by others. The most I ever did was a half-hearted punch to the arm that wouldn't even leave a small bruise. He always knew what to say to get me all bothered, and it always worked. I wasn't about to let him throw me into bed carelessly. We had bonded, and I think both of us were too scared to fuck up a good thing. When Wade got up and announced he was gonna shower, shit, and shave, I got up to go to my room to do something or other. I just needed to cool my head for a second while he cleaned himself up. Which led me to pacing next to my bed, before stopping and sitting on the floor next to the bookshelf on the far wall.  
Picking a book from the bottom row, I open and skim through the pages. I was looking at a scrapbook, the last thing I had received from my family before being dropped off at an in-patient facility. I put it back a minute later with a sigh. I got back up and decided to get a sweater from my closet, which was now half mine, and half clothes big enough for Wade, for when I wash his suit. I was about to exit the closet when someone covered my eyes, I began to panic and jabbed whoever it was in the stomach with my elbow and stumbled away from them.  
"Jesus, you pack a punch." coughed the merc.  
I saw the towel on his waist and covered my eyes so he wouldn't get mad that I saw his scared skin."sorry! I thought you were like an intruder or something! It's a reflex I swear."  
"I-its okay. that was... Pretty awesome actually." He said. I didn't uncover my eyes, until I felt him drape something over my head. A quick whiff told me it was his suit, and it needed a desperate few runs in the wash."Lemme change into these, um... Pedestrian clothes."  
"okay." I nodded and backed out of the closet before turning around and taking the suit off my head. I threw it in my dirty clothes hamper and took the basket to the washer and dryer sitting at the end of the hall in its own little cubby hole. I never minded doing the domestic work for Wade, I knew it was better to wash his clothes than let him run around in an unwashed funky smelling suit. The smell alone would give his enemies and targets a heads up on what was happening. After putting a load in the washer, I went and collected his boots, sprayed them with febreze and left them by the door. By the time that was done, he was coming out of the room, dressed in a turtle neck sweater, black slacks and dress socks. I smiled, he was surely dressed up for something, and of course his mask, which he had several back ups for when one needed a wash. I felt a little under dressed in my black leggings and sweater, then again, I stay at home all the time, and he clearly choose this outfit for a reason.  
"got a hot date there Wilson?" I asked, resting my forearms on the back of the coach, leaning over it a bit.  
"Not that I know of. I just liked the way this looked on me." He said, pulling at the sweater a bit.  
"It looks nice. do you miss doing all that kind of stuff? like getting dressed for work at the office or enjoying a night out with someone special?" He was quiet for a moment, I could tell I hit the nail on the head. I wet over to him and smoothed my hands over his clothed chest,"we kinda match." I said, noting that we wore the same style and color sweater."we must be taking photos for a family christmas card."  
When I got no laugh out of him, I went silent as well. I let my hands drop and backed away from him just enough to be able to walk away. I assumed I had touched a nerve. He grabbed my hand, and reflexily I spun around and knocked him in the nose with all my might before I realized I had knocked him onto his ass."oh shit! I'm so sorry!"  
Hurrying over to help him back up, he let out a laugh, holding his nose."damn! Now that was hot."  
"t-that was hot?" I stopped in my tracks.  
"well, I mean. I didn't think you had that kind of power in you." he said."did you get experimented on too or something?"  
I helped him up,"yeah. kinda." He looked surprised that I said yes. I went on to explain,"well, I needed help. My family found a place for me to go. they dropped me off in up-state New York. I haven't seen them since. That place was horrible. It got shut down later when SHIELD raided them, but by then I had been there for three years and I was scared of... Everything. They found me in a cell with no power or heat. My hair was wild, I was skin and bones." I told him."no one could get near me without me freaking out. That's when they brought in Roxy to me. She was just a puppy in training, then, but that was the only time I was calm enough for them to get me out of there."  
"oh shit. I didn't know." Wade said, barely above a whisper. He reached out and touched my cheek,"we're one in the same, huh kid?"  
"I suppose so. I guess I do have some nutty powers, but I never wanted to try and find out. SHIELD set me up here and let me keep Roxy. They trained her to be my service dog, got me regulated on medicine to help the deep depression and anxiety. I've never known anything else. Time there is blurry, family memories are even blurrier. I got pictures, but I doubt they'd recognize me at all." I sighed."maybe its for the best. After all, if that hadn't happened, I would've never got to meet you."  
He nodded,"I see why you said you relate to my story. Makes more sense that you have that tattoo." I gave him a smile, before he said,"would I be taking advantage of the situation if I said you're really attractive right now?"  
"Nah." I shook my head. By now his nose had healed back up and was good as new. I somehow could tell where his mind was going."you wanna do a mock up date, or skip right to the good part?"   
By the way he swept me up and started rushing for the bedroom said everything. He now knew my story and therefore I was vulnerable. I let myself be, just this once. It'd probably fuck up everything we'd achieved, but at this point, while being placed on the bed and undressed by his hand, I didn't care. Fuck buddies was better than no buddies, right? Maybe he was holding back from the day we met. I'd let him do whatever he wanted as long as it was within my capabilities to do so.  
To my surprise, he was very gentle, as if he was scared to break me. Even though, not even ten minutes ago I had broken his nose without a second thought. I let it go, as we got more into it. It felt pretty damn awesome on each end, and wasn't contained to just the bed. I found that we moved from the bed, to the floor, to the wall and all the way to the closet door. He bit me and I scratched him. We rolled around with passion in our hearts and lust clouding our better judgement. We got carpet burn, we knocked things over, we even broke a few things as we tangled together. His breathe was hot against my neck, and he said my moans were sweet like honey in tea. It was a sheet griping, toe curling, multiple rounds night and every last second was magical.  
We finally settled on the bed around the time normal people would be getting up for work or school. I was first to fall asleep, with a smile and knowing he would most likely leave if that's what he had been waiting for. I didn't blame him for it either. The morning after can always be awkward, but at least I have the night before to grin and be giddy about. When I woke, I didn't feel him beside me, I didn't even feel my own bed beneath me.  
I opened my eyes to find out that I was on the SHIELD tricarrier. I sat up with a groan, wrapping the sheet of the bunk I was in, around me. "What in the HELL do you think you're doing sleeping with a man like Wade Wilson?" came Fury's voice.  
"oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were my father." I said, peeved that I wasn't at home."What in the HELL do you think you're doing taking me from my bed?"  
"Deadpool is a dangerous man." he informed.  
"I'm very aware of that, but you shouldn't be giving me a lecture about whom I'm sleeping with." I huffed." I know you are doing this for my safety by keeping cameras all over my house, but come on? Do I have to get this lecture? He's the first person I've fucked in a long long time."  
"Kid, I am not here to be your parent, I'm here to protect you." Fury growled,"I need you to be a little more careful with who you let in your bed. He could be using you!"  
"Using me?! I clocked him in the nose and all he said was that it was hot." I stood up." I am a consenting adult, I am more than aware of the fact he could've been using me, but I've never known someone to stick around as long as he did just to get in my pants!" I gathered the sheet so I wouldn't trip over it,"I would like to go home now."  
"You can't."  
"what do you mean I can't?"  
Fury let out a sigh,"we have to keep you here for a while."  
"Why?! I can't get pregnant, I don't have a fucking uterus!" I was beyond pissed now,"Let me off this thing now. I want to go home! I need Roxy." My voice rose in tone, I was so angry I could make the Hulk look like a push over."You will NOT keep me from going home. I'm not going to be locked up again to be poked and prodded and injected with who knows what! You will not do that to me!"  
He backed up a bit, clearly he knew that I would freak out if kept. I tied the sheet in a knot so it wouldn't fall down and turned my attention to the guards at the door. Before Fury could try and stop me I was charging, full force at the door. The guards moved to restrain me, but I kicked one and used him to hit the other guard, then proceeded to open and run out the door as fast as my little legs would carry me. I ran down hall ways screaming for people to get out of my way, and I found myself lost in the "teen" heroes wings, where they all lived. Great. Just Great....


End file.
